As a child, I was so shy that the sound of my own voice scared me. I hardly ever spoke, and being around other people was painful. Going to school was a dreadful experience, and my mother practically had to carry me there. Eventually, however, I gradually came out of it and learned to be social. Still, my favorite times were playing alone with my dolls in the solitude of my room. All of my childhood, teen years, and into adulthood, I had many characteristics that I would not call normal, so I’ve had great compassion for those who view themselves that way. The very idea that I could have anything to say that would matter to someone else is a phenomenon to me. Yet, here I am, in the Autumn of life, and I have more views than you can imagine, and I want to tell you about them!
My first ambition as a child was to be a mother. From a child’s point of view, I don’t know how much I thought about being a wife, but I KNEW I wanted to be a mother. Actually, I knew at a very young age that I wanted to be a nurse, too. I don’t know what it was about nurses that appealed to me, but I wanted to be one who took care of the sick and hurting. When my brother and his friends played war in the backyard, I was the Army nurse who attended to the injured. Both of those roles are nurturers, so I had a strong desire to help. That one thing on its own can be a trap, and that’s a whole story of its own.
The point of all that is to say this. I’m a mother at heart. God gave me the desire to be a nurturer and that is a good thing. Everybody has a mother who gave birth to them, but not all mothers provide nurturing. Biological mothers who love and nourish their children play an important role in their lives as long as they live. However, it is also important to have other “mothers” in your life who can speak into your life in a way that bio mom can’t. It’s not a matter of mom being replaced, rather, it’s a way of adding to, or augmenting, what the bio mother does and gives to you. It’s a kind of multiplication for your benefit.
I found that, in the workplace, I regarded co-workers who were younger than my own children as adults, professional peers. We talked to each other as adults and had expectations of each other that were not childish. There were some who came to me with issues they needed to talk about that they wouldn’t go to their mothers about. Let’s face it. We want Mom’s approval, and sometimes, the things we have on our minds are not things we want to go there with Mom about.
As a mom, I’ve found that the hardest thing I’ve had to learn is how to let my children grow up and how to let go of them. There are nested sermons in that one, but, for now, what do you think? Where do mothers go to find out how to accomplish this very important part of letting their children grow into mature adults?
